My Weary Soul Restored ~ Eight Years Later

I've waited for the tears to come all day. I was so amazed at my reaction to the day (or lack thereof)  last year, but wondered if perhaps it was all just a fluke. I expected it to hit hard today. I expected the tears to flow. I expected the anxiety to return.

I know the day's not over yet, but so far, there's been none of that. I did wipe away a few tears a bit ago, but they weren't sad tears.  They were tears of thankfulness as I read through blog posts from this same week over the last seven years and was reminded of how far God has brought us, how much He has taught us about Himself, and how incredibly faithful He has been every step of the way.

Trust His Heart ~ July 2, 2008

That's not to say there aren't hard days. I told a friend the other day that I've had some real struggles about the whole situation recently for various reasons.  That just happens from time to time. But as far as the whole "anniversary trauma" issues that were so hard in earlier years, God has replaced that with peace and thankfulness.

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.  
~John 14:27

Eight years ago today, our world exploded.  Life as we'd known it before was over; nothing would ever be the same.  We'll be dealing with aftereffects for the rest of our lives.  But...God heals. He restores.  He gives new life and growth.  He brings blessing out of brokenness.

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.  
~Psalm 147:3

Eight years ago this week, Billy and I were reeling, having no idea how to handle the situation our family had been thrust into.  At the time when making the correct decisions was more vital than it ever had been before, we were completely unable to seek counsel or help.  We realized that it was us and God, and we began to depend on Him in a way we never had before.

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.  
~Isaiah 41:10

We had quoted Proverbs 3:5-6 for years.  Now we were living it in a way we could never have imagined. We learned what trusting Him with all our hearts truly meant, and what leaning not on our own understanding (or man's understanding in general) looked like.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths. 

He never failed us...not once.  At every single step along the way, He made our path abundantly clear.  We prayed at every new juncture: Father, please give us no choice but the right one.  Make it so clear that there is absolutely no doubt. And at every point, He did exactly that.

If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all [men] liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.
~James 1:5

There will always be "new layers of the onion".  There will come a time in the not-too-distant future when the peace of the last couple of years will be radically jolted by necessary circumstances. But the God who never changes will be faithful in those days just as He has been until this point.

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. 
~James 1:17

For now, God continues to heal.  Our children are thriving.  And we are thankful.

How has God answered His promises to you? I'd love to hear about it in the comments here or on the Facebook page.  Are you going through a time of anguish right now?  I would love to pray for and with you. Please message me through the "Contact Me" box in the sidebar.

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