8.02.2011

He is the More....In "Other" Words Tuesday...






“But this disappointment, those tears,
this heartbreak is God’s gift.
In this quiet empty ache, He enlightens.
By it, He plants and grows within me a certainty
that there must be more.
And that He is the More.”

by Jo at Mylestones


He is the More...

We are now over five years out from the discovery of the greatest heartbreak of our lives.  God has brought us so far...He has shown His faithfulness and glory in so many ways, and we have seen much healing.  But...the scar tissue and the complications it brings will always be there...and there will always be times when old wounds flare.  Many times over the last few months I've found myself marveling at where He has brought us in such a {relatively} short time. 


Although I ache for the pain that our children...our whole family...have experienced over these years,  I am so thankful for the things God has shown us about Himself and taught us about His Word through it.  I remember reading a blog post (and linking to it here) several years ago about being thankful I'm not queen of the world.  I am so thankful, again and still, that I'm not queen of the world.  So thankful that I don't have the choice to go back in time 6 years or so and change it all.  So thankful I'm not in the position to make the choice to change {our} history and prevent all the trauma from ever touching our children.  Because while in one sense I would give everything I have and am to take that hurt away from them...to hit the rewind button and start all over...in another, I cannot imagine giving up all that God has done in our lives through it.  


But...the flip side of that is that when a new "layer of the onion" tears, the pain can be a bit of a shock these days.  Last week was one of those weeks.  Completely out of the blue...wham!...a totally unexpected development that sent me reeling.  The scars open up, painful memories and emotions tumble out, and the realization hits again that it will never. be. over.  Not totally.  It's a soul-jarring reminder in the midst of so many better {and even good!} days, weeks, and months.

But in it all...the good days, the bad days, the in-between days, and the extreme days...He continues to grow within me the certainty that He planted in those darkest nights five years ago...

There is more...

"And He is the More..." 

He is the All.  



Joining with Loni today for In "Other" Words.  Please visit her to see what she and others have shared on this quote today.  


2 comments:

Marsha @Spots and Wrinkles said...

Jennifer,
So true that the old wounds and scars still flare from time to time, as you said.

But He is faithful, and He is MORE than able to sustain us. God bless you - Marsha

t marie said...

I understand completely, in a different context.

I love you, and I admire the growth you are allowing.