Authenticity Revisited...

"We are only what we are in the dark; all the rest is reputation.

What God looks at is what we are in the dark-

the imaginations of our minds, the thoughts of our heart, the habits of our bodies;

these are the things that mark us in God's sight.

Character is what you are in the dark."

~Oswald Chambers ~

My Utmost for His Highest

When I saw the quote that Deborah had chosen for today's In "Other" Words, I immediately thought back to my One Little Word post, written in January of this year. In it I wrote:

"I want to be authentic in my relationship with God. To be authentic in my relationships with my husband and children. To be authentic in my parenting. To be authentic in my friendships. I want to lead my children to be authentic. I want them to have authentic relationships with God. I want them to make right decisions and do the right thing because they are walking with the Lord and want to please Him...not because of what "people" will see or think. "

God had been stirring my heart on this subject for a while. Our family had been sent into a tailspin by someone much loved and trusted who turned out to be anything but authentic. In the midst of the practical day-to-day and long-term issues thrust upon us in the aftermath of the betrayal we discovered, we began to seek answers to the whys and hows of the situation at hand. What I realized, in hindsight, was that this person had spent a lifetime building a reputation that had no connection to the person they truly were inside. The imaginations of the mind, the thoughts of the heart, and the habits of the body bore no resemblance to the front everyone else saw.

I realized then, as I do now, that we are probably all that way to some extent. Most, if not all, of us have areas we don't care to show the world; we often wear masks of various kinds. To some degree, those masks may be okay...some of us are just more private than others, and it certainly isn't always a good thing to "let it all hang out". But there is a fine line there. When we actively seek to show the world a persona that is only skin-deep, we hit a danger zone that isn't good for us *or* the people around us.

I've spent a lot of time since that authenticity post in January pondering the subject of authenticity. We want to have a good name...Proverbs says a good name is to be desired more than great riches...and we want to be good ambassadors for our King...not stumbling blocks. But it is so crucial that we truly *be* the person worthy of that good name. Our motivation must be to be the person God has called us to be, to obey and serve and glorify Him...because we love Him, because we can never repay the debt we owe. If our motivation is to look good to others...it is as filthy rags.

As I said in this post, I have realized this is my primary goal as a parent...that my children grow to love the Lord with all their hearts, souls, minds, and strength. I want them to want so much to please Him that nothing else matters...not what others think, or how "successful" they appear...only that they are following Jesus, step by step, day by day.

And for me to teach that to them, I have to live that myself.

I so needed this reminder, halfway through this year for which my "one little word" is "authentic". I need to stop, in the midst of summer planning for the coming school year, as I'm evaluating where everybody is, what has been working, what needs to change, and what our goals are for the year, and first of all assess "what I am in the dark", and then what my children are "in the dark".

I've shared before the link to Ann Voskamp's post on a "one piece life". I revisited that post this week, and was again so convicted that that is the key to authenticity...making no room in my life for a distinction between the sacred and the secular. As Ann says, with the Holy Spirit inside us, it should all be sacred...every ordinary moment.

I want my life to be seamless. No compartments, no division between the sacred and the ordinary. Our scarred wood floors holy ground, and our lives the same during Monday morning chores as Sunday morning church. I want who I am to God in the dark to be more important to me than who I am to others in public.

I guess I want "authentic" to be more than "one little word for 2009"...I want it to be a defining characteristic of our family for a lifetime.

"Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil; cling to what is good."

Romans 12:9

To see others' thoughts on this quote, visit Deborah at Chocolate and Coffee. Thanks to Deborah for hosting, and for a great quote this week!

Midnight in Madrid Blog Tour

Noel Hynd's Midnight in Madrid has been compared to classic detective and suspense fiction such as The Maltese Falcon and The Da Vinci Code. Definitely not fluff fiction, this book is filled with action, intrigue, and meaty historical references.

I received a review copy of Midnight in Madrid, the second book in Hynd's Russian Trilogy, in return for participating in this week's blog tour. Once again, I was a bit concerned about starting in mid-series, but Hynd provides just enough information to keep a new reader from feeling lost while encouraging a read of the first book as well.

From the media release:

"When a mysterious relic is stolen from a Madrid museum, people are dying to discover its secrets. Literally.

U.S. Treasury agent Alexandra LaDuca returns from Conspiracy in Kiev to track down the stolen artwork, a small carving called The Pieta of Malta. It seems to be a simple assignment, but nothing about this job is simple, as the mysteries and legends surrounding the relic become increasingly complex with claims of supernatural power.

As aggressive, relentless, and stubborn as ever, Alex crisscrosses Europe through a web of intrigue, danger, and betrayal, joined by a polished, mysterious new partner. With echoes of classic detective and suspense fiction from The Maltese Falcon to The Da Vinci Code, Midnight in Madrid takes the reader on a nonstop spellbinding chase through a modern world of terrorists, art thieves, and cold-blooded killers."

Although the book is heavy on historical references, I didn't find them tedious; in fact, I was fascinated with the information on art history Hynd wove through the narrative. I was interested to learn that Noel Hynd has a B.A. in International Relations...other than my Constitutional Law classes, my International Relations classes were probably some of my favorites as a Poli Sci minor in college. However, a background in that area is certainly not necessary to enjoy the drama Hynd crafts. :)

Midnight in Madrid can be purchased at Amazon. For more information on the book, visit Noel Hynd's website. And be sure to check out other reviews on the blog tour here.

Booking Through Thursday

This week's Booking Through Thursday was tough for me...for those who know me, you know that short answers are NOT my forte. :-) I *really* wanted to explain most of my answers! Anyway...I'd love to see what others prefer in their reading...pop over to the Booking Through Thursday site to participate in this week's prompt, or leave an answer or two in the comments here. :)

Which do you prefer? (Quick answers–we’ll do more detail at some later date)

• Reading something frivolous? Or something serious? Both!
• Paperbacks? Or hardcovers? Either.
• Fiction? Or Nonfiction? Both, always.
• Poetry? Or Prose? Prose.
• Biographies? Or Autobiographies? Biographies.
• History? Or Historical Fiction? History.
• Series? Or Stand-alones? Either.
• Classics? Or best-sellers? Hmm...eclectic. :)
• Lurid, fruity prose? Or straight-forward, basic prose? Straight-forward, basic.
• Plots? Or Stream-of-Consciousness? Both.
• Long books? Or Short? Long.
• Illustrated? Or Non-illustrated? Love illustrations!
• Borrowed? Or Owned? Either.
• New? Or Used? Used all the way!! :)

"Do The Next Thing"

It's been one of those weeks. Long lists of things begging to be done coupled with physical issues that have kept me down more than up. Unexpected challenges (like new roof leaks...ugh!). Friends facing hard times and more hard times. "Overwhelmed" has been the word of the week this week...especially this morning, as I decided that no matter what, I *had* to start marking things off this "to do" list today. I found myself wishing this morning that I was one of those people (like friends I know :)) who get really energized and productive when under stress (and clean house!) Unfortunately, stress has the opposite effect on me...it paralyzes me. I can't afford to indulge in the sluggishness that has gripped me all week...progress *must* be made.

I was sitting at my desk trying to decide how in the world to fit it all in to the day...what needed to be done first and what was most important...and worrying about balancing all that needs to be done today with the need for energy and strength for the evening's commitments at church. A familiar Elisabeth Elliot phrase popped into my mind, and I decided to look up its origin. I was delighted to find this poem. It's going on our "Mega Memory Month" queue! What a beautiful reminder...

Do The Next Thing

(an old Saxon poem quoted by Elisabeth Elliot)

"At an old English parsonage down by the sea,

there came in the twilight a message to me.

Its quaint Saxon legend deeply engraven

that, as it seems to me, teaching from heaven.

And all through the hours the quiet words ring,

like a low inspiration, 'Do the next thing.'

Many a questioning, many a fear,

many a doubt hath its quieting here.

Moment by moment, let down from heaven,

time, opportunity, guidance are given.

Fear not tomorrow, child of the King,

trust that with Jesus, do the next thing.

Do it immediately, do it with prayer,

do it reliantly, casting all care.

Do it with reverence, tracing His hand,

who placed it before thee with earnest command.

Stayed on omnipotence, safe 'neath His wing,

leave all resultings, do the next thing.

Looking to Jesus, ever serener,

working or suffering be thy demeanor,

in His dear presence, the rest of His calm,

the light of His countenance, be thy psalm.

Do the next thing."

7 (Super) Quick Takes Friday

I was determined to participate in 7 Quick Takes Friday this week, but at 9:30 after a *very* full day, it's going to have to be a "Super Quick Takes Friday" (especially since I have to get up earrrly in the morning, as it's Billy's Saturday to work and the big girls have to be at a GA activity early.) I just hope my tired brain can come up with 7!

1. I finally decided on the co-op classes I'm teaching this fall. After waffling about whether we were even going to participate (due to external circumstances beyond our control that may wreak havoc with our schedule), I am getting really excited about it again. Kelli has a great line-up of classes started already, and I appreciate her and Matt and their work to continually improve co-op so much. We have been super-blessed with great co-op coordinators during our years in co-op!

Anyway...I'm teaching two classes this time (which I said, after the last time I did it, I would never do again!): (1) Codes, Ciphers, and Secret Spy Stuff for 9-13 year olds, and (2) Scrapbooking and Beyond, a papercrafts class for teenagers. The spy class was a special request from Peter, who said, "You always teach girl classes, Mom...teach something for me!" The scrapbooking class is hopefully going to somewhat satisfy the recent overwhelming desire to teach scrapbooking/paper arts classes again. I would so love to find a place to teach and start teaching again, but for now, this should be fun! I really need to nail down plans and projects for the classes in the next few days, so that I can get more detailed info to Kelli...so watch for more on that soon. :)

2. We had a great lunch at ChickFilA today with Kathy and Kaitlyn and Joshua. I'm not sure Kathy and I completed two sentences in a row without some child bursting out of the PlayPlace to get a drink or ask a question or tell us something "really important", but somehow we still managed to get in some good "mom talk." That's always a good thing. :)

3. I'm mourning the loss of Emerald Cocoa Roast Dark Chocolate Almonds. :-( We made our every other week trek to Sam's today, only to discover that not only have they changed the salad we usually buy (and were quite happy with), they have also quit carrying the Dark Chocolate Almonds. Have I ever mentioned I have a love/hate relationship with Sam's?? It's Billy's favorite place to buy pants, I love the cheap prices on dairy products, and as I've mentioned before, the Sam's Cafe is one of my kids' favorite (cheap) places to eat. :) But I *detest* the fact that just when I get used to a product I really love...they quit carrying it. UGH.

I'm on a quest now for an alternate source for the almonds, but so far, everything I've come up with has been *waay* more expensive than Sam's. :-( Since I was diagnosed with Diabetes, these have been my mainstay...even though I don't care for almonds *or* dark chocolate usually, these are quite tasty...a good low-carb protein snack with just a hint of chocolate. *Sigh*

4. We have been given a blessed reprieve from triple-digit temps. The last weather report I saw showed highs in the upper 80s (!!!!) and low 90s well into next week. I would be thrilled if that would last all summer (although I know that is a dream :)).

5. I am blessed with an abundance of books at the moment. I always have a "stack" going, but right now I've got quite a few either "in progress" or "pending" even for me! Check back next week for the blog tour for Noel Hynd's Midnight in Madrid. I'm in the middle of it now and can't WAIT to finish it. The week after that is the blog tour for Tour de Force, by Elizabeth White.

6. I had a good hair day today. I realize that isn't important to anyone but me...but it doesn't happen often, so it's noteworthy. Besides, it gets me down to #7! :)

7. After yesterday, I am determined to put a serious dent in our food waste. I'm trying to come up with a way to make myself accountable about that, but I haven't quite figured it out yet. And I would love to hear any ideas you have for reducing food waste, using leftovers, disguising leftovers for picky eaters, and using what you have without spending an eternity in the kitchen. :) Thoughts or suggestions?

Made it! For more Quick Takes, visit Jennifer at Conversion Diary . (If you haven't visited her already, you should anyway. Her blog continues to intrigue and challenge me. Much there worth reading!)

Thankful Thursday

I've been way too hit and miss with Thankful Thursday lately, so I was determined to post today, and I even had my post somewhat planned. Then I ended up running across a couple of things this morning that changed my course.

I get so bogged down sometimes in the "big stuff", that I forget the "basics". Today I've been reminded how thankful I am for the "essentials". We always bless our meals and thank God for our food...but how often do we *really* stop and realize how blessed we are that we...and our children...have plenty of food, clean water, a roof over our heads (leaky or not ;-)), clothes to wear, and even medicine when we need it?

Yesterday and today I have been cleaning out the fridge/freezer and pantry (Okay, so I don't actually *have* a "pantry", but that sounds better than "the non-perishable food cabinets" :)). I have been appalled...again...at how much food we *waste*. We've been trying to rein in our food budget again, and I'm realizing...again...how much we could save if we just didn't end up *tossing* so much. So...I had been pondering all morning how to be more frugal by cutting our food waste.

Then a friend in an online group posted this video. Wow. (Warning: This video is extremely powerful and will tug at your heart and haunt your mind. It is beautiful...and sad...and disturbing. However, be aware that it is also not for the extremely weak-stomached. Nothing gory, just kinda yucky.)

View this movie at cultureunplugged.com

I also ran across the trailer to this book




this morning. I *really* want to read this book. I rarely buy new books, but I may have to make an exception for this one. The author is Tom Davis, founder of Children's HopeChest, an organization that works with orphans in Russia and in several African countries.

I am always telling my children that one way to express gratitude is to take care of and wisely use that which we have been given. As I thought this morning about how grateful I am for food, clean water, shelter, and other basic necessities for us and for our children, I realized that I have not been showing that gratitude through wise use of the food we've been given. How convicting to realize what an unwise steward I have been.

I posted a while back that we had begun sponsoring a child through Compassion International. His name is Frank, and he lives in Ghana. We have been so blessed through being able to participate in this ministry, and especially through Frank's letters. We knew when we decided to sponsor him that we would have to practice frugality to make that payment every month. In some ways, we've done well with that...in others, not so well.

In today's economy, frugality is becoming more and more important for many of us. I realized again this morning that frugality is not only important in "making ends meet" in our budget...it is important for us to be able to share with those whose needs are much greater than we can often imagine. As I said in the previous post on World Hunger Day, "No, eating all the vegetables on our plates won't help the starving children in Africa, but changing our habits so that we can sponsor a child can."

I am so very, very thankful for our abundance in the essentials. Even on the leanest weeks in the grocery budget, we eat *so* much better than much of the world. I am thankful that I never have to worry about my children going hungry. I am so thankful for clean water, shelter, medical care, and clothing for them.

Now I need to express how thankful I am for God's provision by "taking care of and wisely using what we have been given." I have the feeling that it will not only help our budget, but our grateful hearts as well.

For more Thankful Thursdays, please visit Lynn here.

Gentry Rose Dress Giveaway...

I am so excited that Iris of Grace Alone is blogging again...I've missed her! I'm also excited about her Gentry Rose Dress Giveaway. Designer Granny B designed this dress especially for Gentry Rose, and all proceeds from it go toward her therapy expenses. (See Gentry Rose's story here.) Isn't it adorable?? Iris is giving one away to one of her readers, so pop over and check it out here!