Nothing But Joy!

Intro to James:

Most scholars believe the book was written by James the half-brother of Jesus. If so, James went from an unbeliever who openly mocked Jesus to a man gloriously saved when Jesus appeared to him after the resurrection. He became a leader of the church in Jerusalem known for his godliness and devotion to prayer. He was later martyred by an angry crowd of Scribes and Pharisees. 

With such a background, he simply introduces himself as "a servant of God and the Lord Jesus Christ."  He lived the godliness and humility he preached. 

James writes "to the twelve tribes in the Dispersion". 

Dispersion here has a two-fold meaning: Christians (primarily Jewish Christians) scattered due to persecution, and Christians as exiles and strangers on this earth. Can't we relate to that today?? Most of us in the US haven't seen actual persecution yet, but we're certainly seeing more and more animosity, and the possibility of true persecution in our lifetimes seems more and more real. 

With the current pandemic, we may not be scattered geographically as the Christians to whom James was writing, but we are experiencing such a crazy form of "scattering" through social distancing that is new, different, and for most of us, very uncomfortable. Many aren't able to meet together at church, and their corporate worship is through livestreams or other technology. For those who are able to meet together, things are generally very different due to social distancing guidelines. It is so good to be able to meet together at all, but it's also somewhat awkward and weird. 

As American Christians, we've been really comfortable for a long time. As uncomfortable as these times are, perhaps we needed to be jolted out of our comfortable place. James says that our authentic faith is shown by the way we speak and act during times of trial and hardship, and that those times grow and mature that faith so that we may become perfect and complete in Him. Such a timely message for our time, written 2000ish years ago! 

I loved (and was convicted by!) this from a BSF study on the book of James:

What confusion do you have about your life and your place in the world? Do you struggle to live out what you say you believe? How often do you substitute feelings, fear of consequences, majority opinions, past outcomes, cultural norms, or governmental laws for God's wisdom? Instead, James's message is -- Seek God. Get wisdom. Do the Word." 

James 1:1 
1:1  James describes himself as a servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ.  The word "servant" here is the Greek word "doulos", which means "born bondman or slave". It was interesting to me that this is the same word Mary used of herself when Gabriel announced the coming birth of Jesus.

1:2-4  We are so tempted to focus on self, and on the trials themselves, during trials. All the "Why?" questions press in. From the BSF notes on this verse: God answers some of these questions in James, but mostly helps us move from "Why me?" to "What will I do now?" Live by fatih.

Repeated words or ideas in verses 1-4?  trials/testing and steadfastness (perseverance, patience, endurance, depending on translation)

Conditional statements? Trials/faith testing are required for the production of steadfastness, and steadfastness brings maturity and completeness.

James 1:2

"Count it all joy" --Count= Consider, one translation says "Reckon it"

"All"--also translated "pure"-- all, the whole, every kind of
       The Weymouth New Testament translates this verse, "Reckon it nothing but joy, my brethren, whenever you find yourselves hedged in by various trials."
       "nothing but joy"  brings a whole new understanding. Am I trying to squeeze some joy out in my trials along with my grumbling, resentment, worry, etc.? "Nothing but joy" doesn't really leave room for that. We are to "reckon it nothing but joy" when we face these trials. Not that we are "putting on a happy face about the situation itself"--we may definitely grieve, be sad, even wrestle with it--but we can have a deep, all-encompassing joy in the God Who is using that trial for our good and His glory, and for the work He is accomplishing in us through it. As one of the ladies said last night (I'm badly paraphrasing her, but this is the gist), we have to look over the trial to God and the work He is doing. THAT is where our joy is.

"Joy"--gladness, delight, Greek: Chara, xara. Root "xar"--to extend favor, lean towards, be favorably disposed. 
HELPS  Word Study says: properly, "the awareness of God's favor, joy--grace recognized"
linked to xairo, which means "rejoice because of grace", cheerfulness, calm delight.
      I need to letter "calm delight" and hang it on my wall!! "Calm delight" doesn't usually describe my attitude during trials. But what a beautiful goal.

"When you meet" -- also translated "fall into, encounter, face". The Weymouth translation says, "whenever you find yourself hedged in by various trials." At our old house, we had huge hedges around our yard. I was always amazed at the intricacy and strength of the interior of those hedges. There was no way to push through or make a path, short of a chainsaw. To be surrounded by them would definitely be claustrophobic. That's the way our trials can seem at times...like being surrounded by thick, impassable hedges.

"trials of various kinds" -- diverse trials...the trials may be very different, but the purpose, instructions, and results are the same.

James 1:3

For you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance--
The Amplified translates this "Be assured that the testing of your faith [through experience] produces  endurance [ leading to spiritual maturity, and inner peace].
As my mom said yesterday, that "through experience" part is painful! If only we could learn it just by reading or hearing about it, and not "through experience". But that is how God chooses to do His work in us.

steadfastness--This word is also translated perseverance, patience, endurance.
According to the KJV dictionary, steadfast means firmly fixed or established, constant, firm, resolute, not fickle or wavering; firmness of mind or purpose, fixedness in principle.
      HELPS Word Studies  says "Well-stationed, securely positioned, not given to fluctuation or moving off course.  I don't know about y'all, but that "moving off course" part is convicting for me . When trials come, I tend to go into survival mode, and often veer waaaaay off course from what I know God's calling and purpose for me is.
       Strong's Concordance says the original Greek here is "hypomonen", meaning "to remain under or to stay in place, to bear up under. The characteristic of a man unswerved from his deliberate purpose and loyalty to faith and piety by even the greatest trails and sufferings."
       This is so good from Ellicott's Commentary!

Do not think the grace will come to its full beauty in an hour. Emotions and sentiment may have their place in the beginning of a Christian career, but the end therof is not yet. Until the soul be quite unmoved by any attack of Satan, the work cannot be deemed "perfect". The doctrine is not mere quietism, much less one of apathy, but rather this, that the conscious strength of patient trust in God is able to say at all times (Psalm 63:8)--My soul hath followed hard on Thee, Thy right hand hath upholden me." And if in this patience we can lean to possess our souls (Luke 21:19), the perfect work of God will be wrought within us. 

A couple of things I notice there--
1. This isn't passive, this steadfastness in trials, but rather very intentional. God does the work, but there is intentional, conscious "work"  on our part in this as well.
2. It doesn't happen all at once. It's a process, the process of sanctification. During each trial, He teaches us more, shows us more of Himself, brings us closer to maturity. The perfection won't be complete until heaven, when the glorification happens.

James 1:4
"And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may  be perfect and complete, lacking nothing"

"Let"--allow, Greek echeto--to have, hold, possess

"have its full effect"--also translated "finish the work"--to complete, to meet the goal.

"perfect and complete"--mature, sound, complete in every part, perfectly sound

"lacking nothing" -- that we are without fault or flaw, a perfect sacrifice offered up to God.

Matthew Henry says of this passage:

"Let us take care, in times of trial, that patience, and not passion, is set to work in us: whatever is said or done, let patience have the saying or doing of it. When the work of patience is complete, it will furnish all that is necessary for our Christian race and warfare. We should not pray so much for the removal of affliction, as for wisdom to make a right use of it." 

Colossians 4:12 says, "That you may stand perfect and complete in all the will of God"

I Thessalonians 5:23-24 --Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. He who calls you is faithful; He will surely do it.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on these verses, either in the comments here or on FB/IG!

A Background Tale

(Super-quick, roughly lettered verse. Got to the very end and totally wrote the wrong word and had to erase, which made a mess, but didn't have time to redo. Pride says, "You can't use that!" But the truth in the words is what's important, so swallowing the pride and leaving it there. *blush*)

One evening I was sitting at my desk after supper trying to muster the energy to go upstairs and get ready for bed. I was exhausted and discouraged and feeling just a wee bit overwhelmed  As I mindlessly scrolled through Facebook, a friend's post caught my eye. It was a graphic of James 5:11--

"Behold, we consider those blessed who remained steadfast. You have heard of the steadfastness of Job, and you have seen the purpose of the Lord, how the Lord is compassionate and merciful.

That word--steadfast--had been popping up all over the place lately. And this verse spoke deeply to my heart in its struggling state.

I pulled my Bible down from the shelf above me and flipped over to James. I read all of chapter 5, realizing as I did that not only was there much there that spoke to my personal struggles and those of our family right now, but also much that spoke to the things going on in the world around us right now that are also heavy on my heart.

I backed up and skimmed through the previous chapters, and continued to read things that resonated deeply with me and were so very timely. Bible study had been hard lately, and I had been praying about that and looking for a way to get over the hump, so to speak. As I sat reading various verses in James, almost all of them very familiar and yet new and fresh at the same time, I decided that a deep study of James was just what I needed right now.

Then I thought, "I wonder if maybe someone else might want to go through James with me--maybe we could do a Zoom study to help with accountability and provide some much-needed fellowship in the process." I began praying about it and decided I'd go ahead and quickly post on Facebook and see if there might be a lady or two who might want to join me.

God is so good and His ways are so much higher than ours. We had 16 ladies (plus a few more who wanted to but due to tech issues and/or operator error on my part weren't able to yesterday :-( ) between two sessions yesterday studying the first four verses of James. We had some glitches along the way, and it was a bit rough around the edges on my part, but it was such a blessing!! Such wonderful ladies who blessed my heart so much, and the study itself has been exactly what I needed right now.

I plan to share my notes each week after the study. I hope they'll be helpful for those who were there, for those who missed, and maybe for others as well. Warning--they'll be in rough note form. :) But hopefully they'll make sense!

Would love to hear from you in the comments or on FB/IG--what are you studying right now? What is God teaching you through it?

Long Time, No Write

I didn't intend to take a blog break. But somehow that's exactly what I did. I was posting fairly often through 2015, but I only posted six times in 2016, one apiece the next two years, and none at all last year. 😳

I've been feeling a strong pull recently to dust off the blog, share more from the archives, and add new content (hopefully regularly!) The first post or few will be notes from the Bible study on the book of James I'm doing with some ladies online right now. I'm excited about sharing some of the things God is teaching me from it! 😍

So much has changed since I was blogging regularly. I've changed, there have been lots of changes in our family, the world has certainly changes (and seems to be continuing to change  by the moment--hello, Arkansas mask mandate announced this afternoon. 😷)  Even the devices/platforms for blogging have changed for me--I'm trying out Blogger for Android for the first time on my phone. We'll see how that goes. (So far I've lost this post twice because the app doesn't autosave--will have to get used to THAT. 😬)

I'm excited about sharing about some of the changes around here, as well as posts on art/creativity, Bible journaling, handlettering, Bible study/devotional content, family/home/food stuff, etc. 😊

I'd love to hear about what you'd like to see here as well! You can let me know in the comments or on FB/IG if you have ideas for posts. I'd also love for you to let me know you saw this post! It would be great to know someone is actually reading, as well as helping my currently-non-existent-thanks-to-my-unplanned-break reach. 😁 

Watercolor Dreams (And Nightmares)

As I sat with a sweet, fun group of ladies yesterday learning to paint simple watercolor flowers, I realized that it had been about 38 years since I'd sat in a watercolor class (and really any kind of art class at all that I wasn't teaching, I think??) In the 5th grade I had an experience with an art teacher/class that caused me for the next 30+ years to feel that I wasn't and couldn't be artistic/creative. A few words from an elderly art teacher about my lack of ability in a watercolor class that I loved said to me that not only was I not good enough then, but I didn't have the potential to ever be good enough.  Far into my adult years, those words continued to repeat themselves in my head and tell me that I was not, nor could I ever be, an artist. 

Many years later, God would begin to work on my heart and mind about the issue of creativity and the wrong thinking I had allowed to take root. Through a VBS class I was teaching, I discovered that creativity is not something that some people have and some people don't, but that creativity is a character quality that we are to work to develop in ourselves and in our children. I learned that in creating us in His image, God, the ultimate Creator, made us to be creative beings. In the years since, I've learned much about creativity as a form of worship to our Creator God. I've learned about creativity as a mental muscle that strengthens the more we use it (and atrophies when we don't!) 

In the last decade and a half, I have taught hundreds of craft classes to adults and children, I've done custom scrapbooking and lettering for friends and clients, and I even had a page published in a national scrapbooking magazine back in the day. :-D   I've taught workshops on creativity building for children and adults and written articles for my own blog and others on the topic.  

And yet, put a watercolor palette in front of me and a paintbrush in my hand, and I am that 11-year- old girl feeling inadequate and embarrassed and incapable again. I flash back to those words from 5th grade and feel as though it is somehow wrong for me to even be attempting any sort of actual painting outside of a colorwash or simple background. 

As our sweet new friend taught us those simple watercolor techniques yesterday, the negative messages were flooding my mind. Aloud, I was saying, "Watercolor isn't really my medium, but I've been wanting to learn" (I have actually recently come to the point of hesitantly wanting to try it again!), but inside a voice was insisting, "You can't do this. Look how pitiful your flowers are! Some of these ladies know you teach creative classes--they are going to take one look at your page and think you are a fraud!" (That's how I always feel, by the way, when anyone calls me an artist. I am finally getting to the point where I don't always come back with a bunch of disclaimers about the fact that "I am not really an artist; I just love paper and pens and crafty stuff")

God has worked good out of that awfully negative experience years ago that affected me so profoundly. He has given me a passion to encourage children as well as adults that we are *all* creative, and that we all can (and should!) work to develop our "creative muscles".  One of my greatest joys is to see people of all ages expressing their own God-given creativity in new ways.  I love to see someone's eyes light up as they realize "I can do this!" or as they excitedly share something they've made with me or others. It thrills me for a child or adult who has said, "I can't...", to discover that they can, and they enjoy it!

As I mentioned, I have recently, for the first time in all these years, begun to have some hesitant thoughts about giving watercolor painting another try. I think it's no coincidence that I've been wanting to go to this monthly coloring group for years, and the first time we were actually able to work it into our schedule, they deviated from their usual routine and had a mini-class on watercoloring. :-) Although my emotions were quite mixed and my thoughts very jumbled as we painted yesterday, it was a delightful experience overall, and while my creations yesterday were really rough, I'm inspired to keep working on it!

And I'm thankful for the opportunities God continues to provide to bring healing and growth, even in something relatively insignificant compared to many larger painful things in our lives and the lives of others.

I'm also reminded again what a huge impact our words can have in our own lives and in the lives of others. That long-ago art teacher has been gone, I'm sure, for many years, and I have been blessed with much encouragement over the years from many people regarding art and creativity. But those few words from decades ago have remained lodged in my heart and mind all these years. Florence Littauer's Silver Boxes illustration is so true! She says that our words are like a tower made of silver boxes--it takes many boxes to build the tower, but only one "box" of negative words to knock it completely down.

My challenge to you today is two-fold. First--do something creative today! Anything. Take five minutes and an index card or piece of scrap paper, and do a tiny bit of doodle art. Write a note to a spouse, child, or friend and do something simple to make it cute or pretty. Pick a word and try a new lettering style. Grab your phone and take a picture of something beautiful in nature just because. Cut some flowers from the yard and arrange them in a jar.

Second, encourage someone today. A total stranger walked up and gave me a very unexpected compliment yesterday. It was very simple, a little odd, and I thought to myself that she probably needed glasses, but it encouraged me nonetheless. Give a heartfelt compliment to a stranger, or say something to someone you love that they really need to hear. Or both!

I'd love to hear about what you do in the comments or on Facebook or Instagram! :)

Read more about creativity...

Living Creatively

Teaching Creativity When You Don't Feel Creative (And Why Do I Need to Teach Creativity Anyway?)  (This article is not just for teachers and parents--good creativity info for all of us. :))

Teaching Creativity: Creativity Challenges for Kids

20 Resources for Teaching Creativity

Teaching Creativity: Where Do I Start?

Creativity ~ Somewhat Random Thoughts

Simple Woman's Daybook {It's Been a Long Time Edition}

For Today

July 18, 2017

Looking out my window

 Sun streaming through the tree branches. It's gearing up to be a very hot day.

I am thinking

It's been a very long time since I've done a "Daybook" post (or blogged at all, for that matter!) For various reasons, I've been wanting to get back on the blogging wagon lately, and as I was reading through old blog posts this morning, I decided a Daybook post would be a fun way to ease back in. :) 

I am thankful

Oh, so thankful for God's faithfulness always! This time of year always brings much reflection along with anniversary dates of some of our hardest days ever. I am so thankful that God is so good to send reminders of His faithfulness, sovereignty, and care along with those memories. So thankful also for my family, our church families, and dear friends who have borne and continue to bear burdens with us, pray for us, make us laugh, and just "do life" with us in ways that make it so much richer! 

One of my favorite things

This morning I've been reminded how much I treasure my old blog posts. Such a blessing to be reminded of the funny, the serious, and the wonders of God in our story over these years. 

I am creating

Lettering projects, for family and friends and perhaps some to sell. :) 

Also working on a possible youth girls Bible study/life planning workshop based on an expansion of the planner class I did at the Solid Rock Friday night. Excited about the possibilities! 

I am wearing

Shorts and a Tulsa Lifeflight t-shirt. :) I have a whole wardrobe of various EMS-related shirts, thanks to Billy's work contacts. *big grin*

I am reading (read) /watching (watched) / listening to

Currently reading Steven Curtis Chapman's Between Heaven and the Real World with Ammah Grace. We're just getting started good, but we are really enjoying it so far. His music, and even more his and his family's testimony after the tragic death of his daughter Maria, have ministered to me so much over the years. I'm looking forward to the rest of this book so much!

I also just re-read Anne Ortlund's Disciplines of the Beautiful Woman in preparation for last Friday night's planner class.  I first read it close to 40 years ago and it's possible I've read it close to 40 times. Other than the Bible, it's one of the top five most influential books of my life, and I so needed to read it again right now (and not just for class! :)) If you haven't read it, I highly recommend you do (and for local folks, the Solid Rock had them in stock Friday. I have no idea how many sold, but if they are out, they can order it. :))

I am hoping

Seriously hoping that the weather folks are wrong about the coming "heat wave". The milder summers the last year or two have been so nice, particularly since our old house doesn't have central air. :)  I'm especially dreading the promised heat wave due to Peter working at the farm. He may be all grown up now, but this Mama still worries about heat stroke and such. *Sigh*

I am learning

 to better manage my minutes (not for the first time *blush*)

In my kitchen

Trying to manage to stay somewhat on plan with our WOE (way of eating) without using the oven during these hot days.

In the school room

I am hoping to get some serious planning done for fall semester this week, both for our own schooling and for our homeschool group activities. 

Post Script

This spot is for a favorite link. I just happened to have spent some time this morning reading back through old blog posts, and I ran across this one. It connected, in an odd way, with the planner class I taught Friday night and with some conversations I've had lately. Continuing to see similar things and continuing to pray for a depth revival, followed by a breadth revival! 

http://jenbh.blogspot.com/2008/08/depth.html

Shared Quote

“Most people don't think in terms of minutes. They waste all the minutes. Nor do they think in terms of their whole lives. They operate in the mid-range of hours or days. So they start over again every week, and spend another chunk unrelated to their lifetime goals. They are doing a random walk through life, moving without getting anywhere.” (Alan Lakein)

This was one from Friday night's class. I'm really working on focusing on the big picture and the minutes, instead of getting stuck in the day-to-day, week-to-week right now. 

A moment from my day

Tiny 2x2 canvas Em painted for me. It sits on my desk and makes me happy. :)

Closing Notes

I am hoping and praying that this is the beginning of resuming regular posting here. I would love to hear from you in the comments--something from the blog in the past that has been an encouragement or brought a smile, something you'd like to see on the blog in the future, or just a word of encouragement! Would also love to connect with you via social media! you can follow the blog via  Facebook, Twitter, and/or Pinterest, or  find me on Instagram as Jenbh68. You can also sign up in the sidebar to receive new posts by email.

 

Thanks for coming by!!  

 

Thanks to Peggy for hosting the Simple Woman's Daybook!! Please go visit her to see what others are sharing.  

"Even If Not" and a Blurry Pair of Socks

This photo was taken five years ago today. It's blurry and just pretty much pitiful in general, but I am so thankful I have it! It's yet another reminder of God's faithfulness and care for even the smallest needs of His children. 

Five years ago this morning I received one of those calls parents dread. Bayley had collapsed at the Acteen sleepover, and they had called an ambulance. Because she was in a locked bathroom at the time, no one really knew what had happened. There had been lots of noise, including her fall, and she had been unresponsive for a time.

I had just had a shower in preparation to pick her up later that morning, and as I frantically finished getting ready, I fought tears and prayed panicked prayers. I reached in the drawer for a pair of socks and realized there were none. It had been a rough month, with my own health issues (including a trip to the ER), random other life complications, and the death of Jodie's mother-in-law a few days earlier. Add in the usual holiday busy-ness and I was a bit behind on everything, including laundry.

I choked out "God, socks?!?!" as I frantically dug in the mountain of clean, unfolded laundry, which apparently did not contain two remotely matching socks my size. Then I remembered.

The girls had had a sock exchange at the sleepover the night before. Jodie and I had gone to buy socks for the girls, and not knowing which pair Rachel might want, Jodie bought two. When we got to the sock exchange, Rachel picked a pair, and Jodie gave me the others, which I had admired earlier. I had stuck them in my bag and not given them another thought.

As I yanked them on, slid into my shoes, and raced out the door, God reminded me that if He could take care of something as inconsequential as socks, He could take care of whatever was wrong with Bayley as well. Although the whole thing was a horribly unpleasant surprise to us, it was no surprise to Him, and He was in control and holding us, as He has reminded me so many, many times over the years, in the palm of His hand.

We didn't get any answers that day. She checked out fine by the EMTs other than some possible and understandable altered mental state issues immediately after she regained consciousness. I posted this later that day: 

"Update for all who were involved in the excitement at the Acteen sleepover this morning...Bayley seems to be fine. We went by Billy's work and they did a little more in-depth checking, and everything looks normal. We're supposed to watch her for 24 hours, but hopefully it was just lack of sleep...which she is catching up on even as we speak! :) Huge thanks to everyone for the help, concern, and prayers this morning."

Reading that status five years later is almost surreal. I remember desperately hoping that was all there was to it, while having a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach that something more was going on. None of us had any idea how dramatically Bay's life and all of our lives were about to change.

We would later realize that that was actually her first known tonic-clonic (grand mal) seizure, and a few months later we would finally get the diagnosis of Juvenile Myoclonic Epilepsy. We are so very thankful for 3+ years of being seizure-free, thanks to good meds, careful life management, and God's grace and mercy. But epilepsy continues to impact her life and our family daily. 

Even though she hasn't had a seizure, this has definitely been the hardest year epilepsy-wise. She's had lots of pre-seizure type activity and other neurological challenges, partly due to the impact of stress and trauma issues this year, and possibly due to other, unidentified factors. We are thankful that we've been led to additional changes this year that seem to be slowly helping, and we are hopeful that we will be able to say that 2017 was a much better year, epilepsy-wise.

"But even if not", as we are reminded in Daniel 3, we will continue to trust, and obey, and tell of His faithfulness and glory. "Even if not", He is still good. He has given us many, many more stories like the sock story from that scary day in the intervening five years. He has answered many prayers with yes. He has given miracles large and small.

There have also been prayers that have been answered in ways we wouldn't have chosen. There have been more disappointments than we could list, and more tears than we could begin to count. But He is still good!! He tells us He collects those tears in a bottle. (Psalm 56:8) He cares about every one. He is using the disappointments, the sadness, the uncertainty, the scary times, the painful stuff to make us more like Him, to draw us closer to Himself, and to remind us to lean on Him completely.  

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. ~James 1:2-4

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.  For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.~ 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

I am so thankful for the assurance that whatever comes, He is in control, and He holds us in the palm of His hand. I am so thankful for the comfort of knowing that all that comes to us is part of His perfect plan for our good and for His glory. And I am so thankful for the reminder in a blurry pair of socks. *heart* 

***

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Sharing our {Re}Story

Great is Thy Faithfulness! These words have been cycling through my mind constantly over the last few days. John had selected this as one of our hymns for Sunday, and while I ended up not making it to church on Sunday, I had practiced and prepared and this song had lodged in my mind and heart.

I woke up this morning with a mixture of anticipation and anxiety. Today had been on the calendar for weeks as "ReStory Day". As I said to a friend this morning, "While I am so thankful for all that God has done to bring us to this point, and praying that God will use this to bring others to hope in Him, it's also a little scary..."

"Scary" for lots of reasons. Scary because 10 years ago, we would never have dreamed that we'd be sharing this story publicly at all, much less to such a wide audience. Scary because we know there are those who won't understand or agree with our sharing. Scary because it's painful on a lot of levels, for us and for others. Scary because sexual abuse and the devastation it brings to everyone touched by it is such a huge weapon of the enemy in our day, and we know from experience that when we share our story of hope and God's glory, the enemy steps up his attacks.

But we are so thankful that our God is greater. Greater than all the scary. Greater than our own hesitation. Greater than the worst trauma we can imagine. He is faithful and true and sovereign and sufficient and GOOD, and He loves us with an unfathomable love. He is Wonderful Counselor and Jehovah Rapha, the God Who heals.

When our world exploded a little over a decade ago, I tried to find resources to help families seeking to deal with this type of trauma in a Biblical way. There was very, very little available at the time. I remember crying out to God for tangible help and hope, and clinging to Him as "Wonderful Counselor" (Isa. 9:6) He has been so faithful to show Himself to us as Wonderful Counselor all along the way, and to send people and resources to help.

One of the first people He sent was Mary DeMuth. I ran across a video clip online of her sharing a bit of her testimony of being molested as a five-year-old girl and the work God had done and continued to do in her life since. It was one of the first glimmers that there was truly hope in our situation. I emailed her later and shared a bit of our story and thanked her for sharing hers and allowing God to use it to minister to us.

Over the years, I've been on launch teams for several of Mary's books, and at one point had a guest post on her blog about ministering to abuse/trauma victims and their families in the church. Her books and ministry have continued to minister to me and to our family.

Earlier this year, Bayley shared her story on her blog. As I was sending the link to some who'd asked for it, I thought, "I should send this to Mary DeMuth and say thank you again for allowing God to use her in ministering to us through her story." I didn't know if she would even remember me or our story, but I prayed over it, wrote a note of "re-introduction", and sent the link.

Mary did remember our story, and after we had messaged back and forth a few times, she asked if Bay and I would be willing to be interviewed for her ReStory podcast.

I was reminded immediately of this blog post, where I shared about God changing the desires of my heart dramatically in the area of sharing our story. That post shares some important things about one of my long-time favorite verses, Psalm 37:4. Here's an excerpt:

God has worked a complete 180 in my heart...from praying that our story would never be public to praying that nothing about our story would be wasted...that we would "steward our story well", as Mary Beth Chapman says.  My heart's desire is that God would get every ounce of glory possible out of our situation, and that He would use us to comfort and help others, as He provided comfort and help for us.  Some time ago, I began to actually pray that God would give opportunities for me to share for His glory and to minister to others.

I talked to Billy and talked to Bay, we prayed about it, and then said yes.

I was reminded again recently of this quote from John Piper:

"If we are comforted, it is for your comfort." 2 Cor. 1:6. Don't waste your comfort on yourself. Sweeten it by spreading it.

God has comforted us in so many ways through these years, and He continues to as we continue to deal with the lifelong effects of this particular trauma and other hard life stuff. As I said in the Psalm 37:4 post linked above, He showed us early on that we couldn't comfort others with the comfort He has given without being willing to share our story.  As much as that was not in any way our natural inclination, He has changed our hearts and allowed that sharing to minister to others even as it has been a huge part of our own healing.

Today, on "ReStory Day", He has again shown His faithfulness in so many ways: in the incredible sunrise as I took Billy to work this morning, in the words to the hymn with which I opened this post, in the message from a friend this morning saying she didn't know what was going on with us today, but God had put us strongly on her heart and mind and she was praying for us (isn't God SO INCREDIBLY GOOD????? And so thankful for friends who listen to His promptings and obey and then share! *bigheart*), and in being reminded of His work for His glory and our good through listening for the first time to the ReStory interview this morning.

You can listen to the interview here.  (Please feel free to share this post and the podcast link via Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, email, etc., especially if you know someone dealing with abuse or other trauma. You can also follow the blog via  Facebook, Twitter, and/or Pinterest, or  find me on Instagram as Jenbh68, or sign up in the sidebar to receive new posts by email.)

More resources on child protection, finding hope in abuse and trauma, and dealing with suffering can be found here. 

And I would love to hear from you! You can leave a comment below, message me via the contact box on the right, or contact me via the Facebook page linked above.