Hymn Ponderings {Pondered Pages}

I love to play the piano. However, as I've said often recently, my love for playing has always exceeded my ability, even back in the days when I practiced all the time. :)  Those days are in the far distant history now. I went for ten years barely touching a piano, and then tried to rapidly brush up my skills when I played for our church's children's choir for a few years. I've now gone another several years without playing on a regular basis.

All that changed a few weeks ago, though, when our wonderful pianist at our little church was led elsewhere, and I began playing for our Sunday worship services. I'm suddenly practicing an hour or more a day. Eek! :)  I'm about to drive my poor family batty by playing the one Hanon exercise I remember over and over again, because I can't locate my Hanon exercise book and I need some serious finger strengthening! Mostly, though, I'm practicing hymns...the specific hymns for the upcoming Sunday when I have them, and practicing from one end of the hymnal to the other when I don't.

As I played through hymn after hymn the other day, I was reminded of the many, many people who've been used over the years to encourage my love of hymns. My parents, first and foremost. Their church choir figured prominently in their courtship over 50 years ago, and it's not surprising that two long-time choir members (and a former church pianist) would pass their love of hymns on to their daughter.

Daddy not only passed on his love of the hymns themselves, but the stories behind them. Horatio Spafford, Isaac Watts, Fanny Crosby, Francis Havergal, and many others became heroes to me through Daddy's recounting of their lives and the stories behind their hymns.

Next would be Bro. Bill Probasco and Don Bingham at FBC, Conway, the first pastor and minister of music that I remember. Bro. Don led a worship music program that set the bar for my future church music experiences. But oddly enough, it's Bro. Bill who comes to mind even more when I sing/hear/play certain hymns. I'll never be able to hear "Sweet, Sweet Spirit", "Victory in Jesus", or "The Church's One Foundation" without thinking of Bro. Bill. Those were precious days.

Bro. Roy Chatham was part of those days as well, but his tenure was much longer in my church life, spanning 15+ years and two churches. He and his wife were also just dear lifelong friends of our family. Other than my parents, he may have had the most impact on my love of church music in general, and my love of hymns in particular. There are several hymns that I associate closely with him, as well, particularly those he taught us over the years in chapel time in VBS. And if I close my eyes and try, I can hear him whistling in the hallways at FBC, Conway. It wasn't unusual for him to be whistling at one end of the building, and my daddy to be whistling at the other. Sweet, sweet memories. *heart*

As I played through a section of the hymnal the other day, I was reminded also of Mrs. Marguerite Vann and Mrs. Austin. During my teen years, I helped both of these ladies with music in their elementary and middle school Sunday School classes. They both loved the old hymns and enthusiastically shared them with the children week after week. How I wish I could play hymns like Mrs. Vann! What a treat to learn from and play with these ladies week after week in those years!

Since then there have been many others, not the least of which has been Lyndel Hobbs from our years at Oak Cliff.  Lyndel is another whose leadership in worship music is just unparalleled. One of many, many things I'm thankful for from my years under his music leadership at Oak Cliff is Lyndel's care to sing nothing, ever, that doesn't line up with Biblical truth. As Guy Penrod says of hymns, "We don't sing 'em because they're old; we sing 'em because they're good!" It may be a well-loved old hymn, but if it doesn't square with Scripture, it's not worth singing. I'm thankful for Bro. Gary and Bro. John at Grace who share that commitment to singing Biblical truth.

Last week we sang an old favorite of mine, "The Solid Rock". I was reminded of the way God used it in my life during my college years, when my beliefs were challenged heavily, and although they weren't shaken, it was just utterly wearying. I remember sitting out by the lake (we were starting a new church and didn't have a building yet, and had some evening services outside by the lake :)) one night and singing this song and realizing the truth of these words in a whole new way, "On Christ the Solid Rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand, all other ground is sinking sand."

I was prompted to journal this wonderful old hymn in my Bible, along with one of the verses from which it came. *Love* :) This was a really simple entry...we have several old hymnals that we saved from a trip to the dump (our church gave the ones in good condition to another church in need, but these were too far gone for church use), so I pulled out the hymn itself to use as a tip in, then used washi tape, letter stickers, and some of my own journaling on a journaling card from my stash. :)



Do you have a favorite hymn? Or like me, is the list too long to write down? :) Are there people who come to mind when you sing certain hymns, or those who just encouraged your love of hymns in general? I'd love to hear in the comments!



I recently had the blessing of teaching a Scripture Journaling class for a group of ladies...it was such fun, and I'm hoping to do a couple of additional classes soon! I wasn't able to share nearly all I'd planned during the evening, though, so I'm planning to do a blog series from my notes. If you are interested in keeping up with that series, please follow the blog in one of the ways listed below. Thank you! 

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  Welcome to Ponderings of an Elect Exile!   Whether you are new here or a faithful friend and regular reader, I'm glad you're here!   If you aren't already following, I'd love to have you join us for the 2015 Ponderings.  It's easy to do, in a variety of ways!   You can follow via  Facebook, Twitter, and/or Pinterest, or  find me on Instagram as Jenbh68. You can also sign up in the sidebar to receive new posts by email.

"Every Promise"

I love hymns. (I think I've said that here a time or two before. :)) I love old hymns. I also love new hymns...especially many of the new hymns by Stuart Townend and Keith Getty. Their combination of lyrically beautiful and Biblically sound words has ministered to me often. A friend posted a link this morning to a Townend/Getty hymn I hadn't heard before, and once again, it hit me right where I am today. What a beautiful reminder that no matter *what* our situation, the answer is to "stand on every promise" of His Word.

Every Promise

From the breaking of the dawn to the setting of the sun,
I will stand on ev'ry promise of Your Word.
Words of power, strong to save, that will never pass away,
I will stand on ev'ry promise of Your Word.
For Your covenant is sure,
And on this I am secure—
I can stand on ev'ry promise of Your Word.

When I stumble and I sin, condemnation pressing in,
I will stand on ev'ry promise of Your Word.
You are faithful to forgive that in freedom I might live,
So I stand on ev'ry promise of Your Word.
Guilt to innocence restored,
You remember sins no more—
So I'll stand on ev'ry promise of Your Word.

When I'm faced with anguished choice, I will listen for Your voice,
And I'll stand on ev'ry promise of Your Word.
Through this dark and troubled land
You will guide me with Your hand
As I stand on ev'ry promise of Your Word.
And You've promised to complete
Ev'ry work begun in me—
So I'll stand on ev'ry promise of Your Word.

Hope that lifts me from despair, love that casts out ev'ry fear,
As I stand on ev'ry promise of Your Word.
Not forsaken, not alone, for the Comforter has come,
And I stand on ev'ry promise of Your Word.
Grace sufficient, grace for me,
Grace for all who will believe—
We will stand on ev'ry promise of Your Word.

~Stuart Townend and Keith Getty

Our New (Well, not *exactly*...) Piano

Twenty-some-odd years ago, as a teenager, I bought a piano after inheriting some money from my great-aunt. The piano I originally bought was an antique Steinway square grand, which looked a little like this . I soon learned that while an antique Steinway square grand was a nice *thought*...this particular one (and from the reading I've done, most of them at this point :)) was great for looks but not practical for someone who actually wanted a piano to *play* seriously. :-) So...we traded it in for a much newer but not *new* Baldwin Acrosonic. My dad had worked for Baldwin at two different times in his career (I'll have to post more on that subject sometime...:)), so he helped me to find *just* the right piano...and I was attached to this one from the beginning.

When I moved away from home, my piano stayed behind. Recently, my mom decided to buy a piano a friend was selling, so that my piano could come *home*. I had started accompanying a children's choir at church and needed to be able to practice regularly (I hadn't in over ten years...ack!), and my children are ready to start learning to play now. It was no small feat to move not one but *two* pianos, but a great crew of men helped us and we finally got everything where it needed to be on Friday. The kids are *so* excited (I hope they stay that way when they have to start actually *practicing! ;-)), and so am I!

ETA: Can anyone help me figure out how to position the photos in my post where I want them? When I use more than one photo in a post, I can't seem to get them to end up where they are supposed to! (I *wanted* the full piano on the right at the top with text to the left of it, and the piano keys at the bottom of the post in the center...help!)

ETA2: Thanks to Joyful Days for helping me figure out how to get things (mostly:)) where I want them!!

Incredible Love

We are working on another song by Stuart Townend in adult choir right now... How Deep the Father's Love for Us. The first time we sang it, I thought it was beautiful, and looked down to see who it was written by...and realized it was written by the same person who wrote my very *favorite* song we have done in choir this year (The Power of the Cross). Not only are both of these songs musical *dreams* for an alto (some beautiful low melody parts in addition to gorgeous harmonies), but the words are incredible. God continues to amaze me with new realizations of the true depth of His love. And He continues to remind me of the *truth* and *reality* of His Sovreignty. I have struggled with the Sovreignty of God this year more than any other, but through those struggles, I have become convinced that suffering is indeed necessary for us to gain a deeper understanding of God's love for us.

"How deep the Father's love for us
How vast beyond all measure...

How great the pain of searing loss
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the Chosen One
Bring many sons to glory

...Ashamed I hear my mocking voice
Call out among the scoffers...."

(Exerpted from How Deep the Father's Love for Us, by Stuart Townend)

When we first began working on this song, I had just had a conversation with a friend about God's sovreignty and goodness and human suffering. It is hard for us as finite humans sometimes (all the time?) to reconcile the suffering of children with the Goodness and Sovreignty of God. She shared that it was much easier for her to accept the suffering adults experience than the suffering of innocent children. I have struggled with that as well. We have watched a number of *innocent children* suffer...including our own. We watched our youngest go through intense physical suffering during the first 6 weeks of life, enduring medical procedures that send adults into anxiety attacks, and acquiring scars that may be visible for the rest of her life. Our older children have gone through periods of extreme emotional suffering due to various family crises. I have spent a lot of time pondering why God allows *innocent children* to suffer, both before and after the conversation with my friend. I certainly don't have an easy answer. But God has brought me a long way in this area, and because we are dealing with some long term issues involving the suffering of children, I know that He will continue to lead in this area.

One thing I have realized about the suffering of children is this: the suffering of my children gets my attention faster than anything else. God has taught *me* more through the suffering of my children than through any other suffering I have experienced. I have clung to Him more for wisdom and strength in helping my children through their suffering than I ever would have otherwise. And I have learned more about God's love for us as our Heavenly Father through the experience of watching my children suffer.

When Ammah Grace was still in NICU, I had the most vivid realization of the immensity of God's love for us that I had ever had up to that point. She was several weeks old, and it was our first time to actually be *alone*...she was finally stable enough for me to take her into the nursing mother's area and be in the privacy of a curtained cubicle. I was finally able to just sit with my baby and examine all of her little fingers and toes as I had done with all of my other children in the first few hours of life. As I sat marvelling at how tiny she still was...although she had already gained almost a pound by that time...I noticed something I had never seen on my other children. Scars. Little tiny scars, on her hands, and on her feet. Scars from multiple IVs and other tests and procedures I didn't even want to think about. I was suddenly overwhelmed at how much suffering this little girl had already experienced in her very first weeks of life. I remembered the agony I had gone through a couple of weeks earlier, giving permission by phone for her to undergo a spinal tap...not a pleasant procedure for anyone, much less a tiny baby. I remembered having the crazy urge to jump in the van and drive the 2 1/2 hours to the hospital because I couldn't stand the thought of her going through the procedure alone, despite the fact that the doctor had said they needed to do it immediately. (I had gone home for a week or so to get things settled before going back to Little Rock to stay for the duration of her stay in NICU.)

Tears flooded down my face as I ached for the suffering this child had endured...as I contemplated the suffering that could be still to come for her...and as I realized again my complete and total inability to do anything about any of it. In the midst of my tears, I was suddenly overwhelmed with the thought of another Parent who had wept over His Child's scars. God quietly reminded me that He, too, had experienced the pain of seeing scars on the hands and feet of His Child. He, too, had known the pain of allowing His Son to suffer alone...not being there to comfort Him in the worst time of suffering that He...that any man...had ever experienced.

And then He reminded me of this: He didn't have to.

As I struggled with my total helplessness to control the suffering my child had already experienced and would experience in the future, I realized that God didn't *have* to see His Son suffer. He could have, with a word, released Him from that suffering. Jesus Himself could have called "10,000 angels...to destroy the world and set Him free." But...God willingly watched His only Son suffer and die at the hands of evil men...He turned His face away as Jesus took on the sin of the world that He couldn't even look upon...and He did it for *us*. Sinful, evil, miserable, ungrateful people. People that He loved enough to die for. I realized in that moment that there was no one in the world that I could have *willingly allowed* this little girl to endure that kind of suffering for. I knew that I would have done anything in my power to keep her from having to experience the suffering she had experienced.

And at that moment, I realized in a way I had never realized before how deep the Father's love for us...for me...really is. The lyrics of this song express what I felt that day...and what I feel every time I think about those teeny, tiny scars...so perfectly. What incredible word pictures...about an Incredible Love.

Random Thoughts of Thankfulness...

I hope I'm not committing a major blogging faux pas here...but I'm fairly certain that this blog is going to be the *permanent* one, so I decided to repost an earlier blog post from my original blog. I plan to continue the *Random Thoughts of Thankfulness* posts on a regular basis, so I thought perhaps I needed to share their origins here as well...

(from May 11, 2007, the wee hours of the morning...)

I have been quite convicted lately that I need to stop on a regular basis and spend time just being grateful....time that I thank God for His amazing blessings, without any other distractions. It's 1:18 a.m. at the moment, and I am sitting here *waiting* for a new internet security program to download so I can shut down and go to bed...and I realized perhaps this would be a good time to just *be grateful*. :-) I plan to make this a regular part of my blog...but hopefully *not* regularly at 1:30 a.m.!

A bit of housekeeping, first. My plan is for this to be a place for *random* thoughts of thankfulness....thankfulness for those things in my day or week that make me smile, or give me a sudden jolt of realization of God's goodness and love....things that make me excited to get up in the morning (or keep me from running away to Alaska on the rough days. :)) So...let's get the *big stuff* out first...because these are things I am *always* thankful for, and they won't necessarily be repeated in later random thankfulness posts:

1. The gift of a Christian husband who spoils me rotten, wholeheartedly believes in homeschooling (and works hard so that I can stay home to accomplish that), and is the most incredible husband and daddy ever (and he even does dishes! :-))

2. Four beautiful, healthy, crazy, bright, amazing (but sometimes cranky) children.

3. The blessing of being raised in a Christian home by Godly parents who sacrificed much and prayed often for us. I realize more every day what a very rare gift that is.

4. Friends who make me laugh until my face hurts, endure my tears (and shed their own with me), listen to me unendingly, and sharpen me as iron sharpens iron.

5. The most wonderful gift of all...a Savior whose love, grace, and faithfulness are more awesome to me every day.



Now...for today's random thoughts of thankfulness...

1. Missing doors! My brilliant hubby suggested years ago that we take the doors off of either end of our large dining/school room. It took me several years to catch up with his thinking....but I decided a few weeks ago that part of the dining/school room makeover *desperately* needed to be losing the doors. So...Billy took the doors off after work tonight, and it has *already* made a world of difference in this room! Much more usable/wall space and a much less *cluttered* look. (He and the kids pulled wallpaper off half the room tonight, too...the kids had a ball, and I am a few steps closer to having this room painted and transformed. :))

2. The promise of high-speed internet. Wow! I am excited about this. I have needed to make some changes in our phone service for a while now...our long distance usage has changed and I knew we could get a better deal than we had but I just hadn't gotten around to it. Today I ended up on the phone with a customer service guy from our phone company...and ended up getting our phone service and high-speed internet bundled for $55.00 *less* a month than we were paying for our phone and slow dial-up! It will take a week or so to get it all going, but it is definitely something to look forward to. :)

3. Choir Practice. I often think I should take a break from choir for a while...due to time and health issues...but I just can't ever quite make myself. Choir has always been one of the most enjoyable times of the week for me...I enjoy all of it, even just going over things over and over and *over* again until Lyndel is happy with them (or until he gives up, whichever the case may be :-D). I'm always amazed at the way God uses the music we are working on in very specific ways in my life. Somehow in the past few years, with all that we have gone through (Ammah Grace, losing Daddy, and the difficult events of the past year), many of the hymns and choir anthems I've sung for years have come alive in totally new ways. And Lyndel has managed to introduce us to new pieces that have impacted me immensely. I actually started a blog post this morning (hopefully I will finish and post it someday :)) about the music of Stuart Townend and what a blessing it has been lately. I'm really thankful that Billy has supported my staying in choir and that Lyndel puts up with me. :)

4. School! We have finally found our *niche* as far as schooling goes, and that is *such* a good feeling. It is so good to have a plan (one that actually *works*, after the first one *didn't* :)) and books and know where we are headed. We have had so much *fun* with school recently. Some of the fun hasn't been surprising (making clay *creations* as a project to go along with our Mystery of History lesson...I'll post pics soon...), but some of it has caught me off guard. One of the things the kids have enjoyed the most this week has been their *handwriting*, of all things. I printed copywork pages from the DonnaYoung site of George Washington's Rules of Civility...and the kids have *begged* to do them first every day! More on that and lots of other school thoughts coming soon...:)

5. When I started this, I had five thoughts, but somehow when the clock struck 2 a.m., I lost the fifth one. Since this download is *finally* almost finished, I'm not going to attempt to remember it...maybe it will come back to me in the morning. For now, I will replace it with the fact that I am thankful that I should be in bed in the next 10 minutes and only seconds after that be asleep. A very thankful thought for 2 a.m. for a tired mommy...:)