Celebrating GRACE {On This Day}

The last couple of days have been rough. We're all okay, and no big, bad major event has happened (in fact, there's been some good, happy stuff in the mix!:)), just a whole lot of general life yuck and then Satan hurling some fiery darts into the whole mess. Yesterday was the worst for me. I fought a lot of tears and lapsed into extreme survival mode.

Between those struggles and a busy schedule this week, I hadn't even really thought about the date itself...until I clicked over to my TimeHop early this morning and saw this status from two years ago:

Nine years ago today was the worst day of my life. As the status above says, our world shattered into a million pieces.

The intervening years have been hard. There were times during the first few years especially that I wasn't sure any of us were going to make it. Trauma issues in our children and in ourselves, concern for the safety of our family, life-altering decisions we weren't really prepared to make, and countless sleepless nights were just a few of the issues with which we struggled during those years.

The last few years have been a bit like the calm in the eye of the storm. God has worked much, much healing and growth in our lives. We have seen His glory in ways we could never have dreamed. In those very early days nine years ago, we began to pray, "Please just make the path so totally crystal clear that there is no question possible about the right direction." We have seen Him do exactly that over and over and over again.

As I shared here,we've dreaded 2015 for a long time. And yet, as we enter the second half of this year, we have already seen God answer prayers we didn't even know how to pray, and provide for needs in ways we would never have imagined.

My TimeHop this morning is full of reminders of God's faithfulness from this date in years past. I love that! I love that those "standing stones" are there to remind us how far He has brought us and how much He has shown us of Himself even in the darkest of days.

I'm also reminded today how blessed we've been in the people God has provided over the years to support and encourage and pray for us. Out of necessity, only a handful of people were aware of the situation in our lives 9 years ago. Those people spent much time in the trenches with us...and unlike us, they made a choice to be there, because they loved us and were fulfilling God's call to help bear our burdens. That is true friendship, and I can't imagine these last nine years without them.

Others had no idea what was going on, but God called them to pray for and encourage us anyway. How thankful I am for those people, who listened to the still, small voice and obeyed, and who impacted our lives in ways they will never completely realize. And how thankful I am for those who have since heard our story and supported and prayed and encouraged. We have an amazing array of friends who have invested in and loved and prayed for and encouraged all of us in so many ways, and that blessing is tremendous (to use a favorite word of a certain music minister *grin*)

Psalm 40:1-5 have long been favorite verses of mine, and this morning I cried all over again when I got to verse 5:

Many, O Lord my God,
    are the wonders You have done,
    the things You planned for us.
None can compare with You;
    were I to speak and tell of Your deeds,
    they would be too many to declare.

He has shown that verse to be true in our lives over and over again. He has done many wonders, and His deeds have truly been too many to declare. Through that He has shown us beyond a shadow of a doubt that none can compare with Him. It has certainly not always been easy, it has certainly not always been the way we would have chosen, and we know that there is more difficulty and uncertainty ahead as we move closer and closer to this fall. But this is as true today as it was two years ago:

Nothing but His grace could explain the fact that on this day, I can rejoice in His sovereignty, have peace in His plan, and be more sure than ever of His goodness.

How have you seen His grace at work in your life? I'd love to hear in the comments! Are you struggling right now, or facing a dark situation? I'd love to pray for you. You can message me via the "contact me" box in the sidebar, or leave a comment below.

[Scripture Journaling notes: Superquick entry (as shown by the super-messy lettering...ACK!...but I wanted to get it finished this morning and didn't have much time) on Psalm 40:5 using Anita's Acrylic Craft paint, Pilot G-2 pens, and washi tape and stickers from various sources.]

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Welcome to Ponderings of an Elect Exile!  Whether you are new here or a faithful friend and regular reader, I'm glad you're here!  If you aren't already following, I'd love to have you join us for the 2015 Ponderings.  It's easy to do, in a variety of ways!  You can follow via  Facebook, Twitter, and/or Pinterest, or  find me on Instagram as Jenbh68. You can also sign up in the sidebar to receive new posts by email.

7 Truths On Which to Dwell on the Hard Days {And Every Day}

This is always a hard day for me. The story behind that is not entirely mine to tell, and therefore I'll leave it at that. These thoughts are pulled from something I wrote several years ago on this date which had far too many details for general publication. This year as I was re-reading it, I decided to pull out the important parts and redesign them into something post-able, leaving out the more personal bits that don't need to be shared.

There are many memories associated with this day...memories that used to be good, but that now bring  a grapefruit-sized lump in the throat, a dagger-like sensation in the chest, and a frantic feeling of needing oxygen upon the slightest attempt to remember.

A wise older man once said to a friend of mine, “There are things worse than death.”  I think of that this morning as I sit wishing that the good memories weren’t tainted with such horrible, horrible stains, like photos that have mildewed under a leaky roof.

Things worse than death indeed.

This day always brings up questions...lots of questions. Questions that, if I let them, could send me into a lasting catatonic state. 

They flit into my head and I have to immediately shuttle them back out. I cannot dwell on any of them. Like another recent tragedy that has hit very close to home, I know there are no answers, and that there will never be this side of Heaven. Therefore, the questions must not be allowed to invade.  The truths I must dwell on, today and always, are these:

*God knew every jot and tittle of every circumstance that has occurred before any of it came to be. In fact, He knew this before the foundation of the world!

*God is not taken by surprise…not one iota…by any of the circumstances that shock us and send us reeling. 

*God loves our children even more than we do, and He has a plan for them…a plan for good and not for evil, a plan to give them a future and a hope. (Jer. 29:11)

*God loves those who have done evil to us. Their sin is not past being forgiven. They are no more and no less sinners than I am, or than any other person on earth, alive or dead. We are all sinners.  Our sin...all sin...is heinous…even though some may not appear as heinous as others. The difference is, we have experienced His grace and mercy, and been transformed into new creatures...not because of anything we have done, or any good in us, but because of His work in us.

*God is sovereign. God is good. God has already triumphed over evil. And He tells us in His Word that He carries us in the palm of His hand. He never left any of us for one minute during the worst of the dark days. He promises us that in His Word…that He will never leave us or forsake us. 

*He has kept our tears in a bottle! (Psalm 56:8) He cares for our pain! And one day, He will wipe away all tears from our eyes. There will be no more death, or mourning, or crying, or pain. (Rev. 21:4) What a tremendous thought for those who belong to Him.

*My responsibility now? To worship and obey. To be the wife and mother God has called me to be. To be ready and willing to share Him at any opportunity. The words to the chorus we’ve sung so often this year flood my mind again this morning. When I don’t understand, my response should be worship. The things I don’t understand…the unanswered questions that are always just below the surface…these are constant reminders of His greatness, and my weakness. His ways are higher than our ways. He is holy, and sovereign, and all-powerful, and all-wise, and I am not.  He sees the past, present, and future clearly, and orchestrates it all in His power, while we see through a glass dimly. 

Worship, obey, believe, and press on. 

“Bow the knee.  Trust the heart of your Father when the answer goes beyond what you can see.  Bow the knee.  Lift your eyes toward Heaven and believe the One who holds eternity.  And when you don’t understand, the purpose of His plan, In the presence of the King, Bow the knee.”

~Chris Machen

But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 3: 13-14

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Welcome to Ponderings of an Elect Exile!  Whether you are new here or a faithful friend and regular reader, I'm glad you're here!  If you aren't already following, I'd love to have you join us for the 2014 Ponderings.  It's easy to do, in a variety of ways!  You can follow via  Facebook, Twitter, and/or Pinterest, or  find me on Instagram as Jenbh68. You can also sign up in the sidebar to receive new posts by email. 

God is God.

"God is God. I dethrone him in my heart when I demand that he act in ways that satisfy MY idea of justice."

~Elisabeth Elliot 

Leigh McLeroy (author of The Beautiful Ache and The Sacred Ordinary) posted this quote this morning on Facebook.   Her response...and mine...was "Ouch."    It goes so perfectly with the lessons God has been teaching me in the past few years about Who He is and what that entitles Him to.  Just the other day during school, the kids and I were talking about the fact that as Creator God, God has the Absolute Right to demand anything of us He desires, and to bring any circumstance into our life He chooses.  Thankfully for us, His love ensures that those things will always be for our ultimate good, as well as His amazing glory.  

Shortly after that, I ran across a blog post I had written two years ago.  I almost laughed when I saw the title and introduction, considering how many times in the past two years God has cemented this lesson all over again.   I've been going through past blog posts for a project I'm working on, and it has been really neat to read things I'd almost forgotten I'd written, and to see God's work over the past few years.  Since I'd already been thinking of incorporating the above quote into a blog post, I decided I'd repost the 2007 version today. :)

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 14, 2007

LIke a Broken Record....

Okay, so maybe that isn't the best title. I guess something sounding like a broken record tends to have a negative connotation. But do you know that feeling when you just keep hearing the *same* message *over* and *over* and *OVER* again, everywhere you turn? And you finally realize that God *really* must want you to get this? This morning's sermon was one of those times. A *hit right between the eyes* event.

This time last year, the message I kept hearing everywhere I turned was this: "There are no surprises to God. God is not surprised or taken off guard by the circumstances you find yourself in. He has a plan for everything that happens in your life and in your family...a plan for good and not for evil, a plan to give you a future and a hope." Come to think of it...Bro. Kent said almost those very words again this morning! I needed them (desperately) a year ago, and I needed to be reminded of them today.

The message I keep running into (like a brick wall!) everywhere lately is this: "God owes us no explanation...for anything. When we begin to see our circumstances (or those of someone we love) as unfair, we must realize that what we all *deserve* is death. God created us; He has, in His infinite mercy and grace, provided a way for salvation for us. We will *never* understand all the ways of God. He is sovereign, He is all-wise and all-knowing, and we are not. But whether we understand or not, God is good, and His ways are perfect."

I guess it shouldn't have surprised me when this theme appeared yet again this morning, this time in Bro. Kent's sermon. Here are some of my notes:

John 12:37ff

"For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways," declares the LORD.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways
And My thoughts than your thoughts." Isa. 55:8-9

We simply *are not able* to understand all there is to understand about God in our finite mind. Our decisions are to be made based on God's Word alone...not on our own experience or understanding.

God reveals that unbelief involves willful rejection of obvious truth.

We will always will to sin, apart from Christ--even the good things that we do apart from Him are sinful, because they are done with wrong motive.

Free will of man vs. Divine Decree...Gen. 50:20~ God didn't *make* them sin, but He meant what they did for good as part of His plan. Rom. 8:28

Just as in Joseph's case in Gen. 50, someone can sin against me grievously, they are fully responsible for that sin and God will hold them accountable for it. BUT...God is not caught off guard by it, He is not taken by surprise, He *will* use it for His purpose, He *allowed* it as part of His plan for my life. We do not understand how this is...that God does not cause them to sin, and yet the act they commit has been part of God's plan from before the beginning of time...but it points to the infinite greatness of God and His glory.

When we start to accuse God of being unfair, we had better watch out...we are on dangerous ground. Paul...Rom. 9..."So then He has mercy on whom He desires, and He hardens whom He desires. Who will say to me then, Why does He still find fault? For who resists His will? On the contrary, who are you, O man, who answers back to God? The thing molded will not say to the molder, "Why did you make me like this," will it? Or does not the potter have a right over the clay, to make from the same lump one vessel for honorable use and another for common use? What if God, although willing to demonstrate His wrath and to make His power known, endured with much patience vessels of wrath prepared for destruction? And He did so to make known the riches of His glory upon vessels of mercy, which He prepared beforehand for glory, even us, whom He also called, not from among Jews only, but also from among Gentiles."

The question we need to remember..."Who are we to question God?"

We deserve...the entire human race...God's wrath. But in His infinite mercy He has chosen to save some. Is it fair? It isn't *fair* that any of us are saved...we all deserve death and hell.

He is perfect in His wisdom and I am not.

He is God, and I am not.

Much to meditate on this week...

In Other Words ~ "All is Well"

I'm excited to have the opportunity to host this week's In "Other" Words! We we would love to hear your thoughts on this week's quote. To join us, after you have posted on your blog, come back here and add your permalink (the link to your In "Other" Words post, not the main page of your blog, please :)) to Mr. Linky below. If you don't have a blog, you can leave your thoughts in the comments here. For more information about In "Other" Words, please visit Loni at Writing Canvas.

“Believer . . .

banish your fears;

cast out all doubts;

lift up the happy head;

clap the exulting hands;

rejoice;

give thanks.

Your heavenly Father cannot set you in wrong place.

Your loving Savior cannot lead you in wrong paths.

All is well.”

~ Henry Law

"All is well."

But is all well?

It certainly doesn't seem like it at times. In fact, it often seems as though things are as far from "well" as they can get.

The past few years have been filled with circumstances that seem very "unwell", for us and so many others we know. Not just sad things, but truly tragic, horrific things...things that rank up there as people's worst nightmares, only these aren't nightmares, they are "real life".

During these times, I have seen, over and over, people rejoicing and giving thanks~albeit often through tears~for God's sovereignty and goodness. I have seen, over and over, people acknowledging that although the circumstances they are facing are horrific, God is in control, and all is well. I have seen people choosing to "cast out all doubt", and have learned the importance of making that choice myself...although it is still sometimes a daily or even hourly struggle. During the circumstances our family has faced in the past few years, I have learned more deeply and certainly than ever before that "Your heavenly Father cannot set you in wrong place. Your loving Savior cannot lead you in wrong paths." Through the most difficult events in our lives, God's goodness and love have become more sure to me than ever.

We recently watched the movie "Last Flight Out" by Billy Graham's World Wide Pictures. (Excellent movie, by the way!) In the movie, the agnostic pilot who has gone to South America to rescue his former fiancee, who is now a missionary in a village that has been taken over by dangerous drug lords, asks Mateo, a missionary doctor in the village, why he would stay in such a dangerous place, especially since he could be living a life of ease as a physician in the States. Mateo replies, “My safety is of no concern. There is no better place to be than in the center of God’s will.”

That has been one of the prime lessons God has taught me in the past few years. "There is no better place to be than in the center of God's will." No matter how dark, how tragic, or how truly evil that place seems to be, if God has put us there, there is no mistake, He is good, His ways are perfect, and all is well.

Sunday Song

We had an amazing worship service this morning. Just over a month after the tragic loss of their son, our pastor preached an incredible message this morning on gratefulness for God's goodness. He and his family have been such a testimony to God's goodness and faithfulness as they have demonstrated "Ye who long pain and sorrow bear, Praise God and on Him cast your care." This old and very familiar hymn spoke to me in a whole new way this morning...

All Creatures of Our God and King

All creatures of our God and King, Lift up your voice and with us sing

Alleluia! Alleluia!

Thou burning sun with golden beam, Thou silver moon with softer gleam!

O Praise Him, O Praise Him!

Alleluia! Alleluia! Alleluia!

Thou rushing wind that art so strong, Ye clouds that sail in heav'n along,

O praise Him! Alleluia!

Thou rising morn in praise rejoice, Ye lights of evening find a voice!

O Praise Him, O Praise Him!

Alleluia! Alleluia! Alleluia!

And all ye men of tender heart, Forgiving others take your part,

O sing ye! Alleluia!

Ye who long pain and sorrow bear, Praise God and on Him cast your care!

O Praise Him, O Praise Him!

Alleluia! Alleluia! Alleluia!

Let all things their Creator bless, And worship Him in humbleness,

O Praise Him! Alleluia! Praise, praise the Father praise the Son,

And praise the Spirit Three in One!

O Praise Him, O Praise Him!

Alleluia! Alleluia! Alleluia!

Praise God from Whom all blessings flow; Praise Him all creatures here below;

O Praise Him! Alleluia!

Praise Him above ye heav'n-ly host; Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.

O Praise Him, O Praise Him!

Alleluia! Alleluia! Alleluia!

~Francis of Assisi, William H. Draper, Thomas Ken