Pew Ponderings {Having a Heart for the Church}

 

As I type this post, I'm reflecting on the introductory sermon to Bro. Gary's new Sunday night series from Revelation 1-3 titled, "What Does Jesus Think About the Church?"

I've realized in the weeks since I started thinking about this series that I'm a bit defensive when it comes to the church.  I think I've been so disturbed over the last few years by the disdain (and sometimes downright anger) that some professing Christians show toward the church that I struggle with admitting to some of her weaknesses. 

In that, I've done what I so hate to see others do in other areas: I've swung the pendulum much too far the other way (and in that,  become a too-subjective cheerleader.)

I've lost my objectivity and come to see the church through my own eyes rather than Christ's (which is exactly what I would caution others against.)

As I've counted the blessing of godly friends and true church families during this series, I am realizing anew that not everyone has those blessings.  For some that may be because they have shut themselves off from close, transparent, accountable relationships, or because they've succumbed to negative attitudes toward the church in general.

However, I know that there are others who have prayed and sought out diligently a "living and functional" church (as Anne Ortlund describes them) and deep, healthy, intimate friendships, only to find themselves lonely and hurting when those things seem completely out of reach.

Please know that this series doesn't flow out of my having it all together in these areas, being some sort of super-friend (just ask mine...I have a LONG way to go!), or being part of a perfect church. 

Instead, it flows from my having a passionate heart for the church, having been blessed with some pretty incredible super-friends over the years, and having also been blessed to be part of churches which were in no way perfect, but definitely "living and functional" parts of the body of Christ. 

God has given me a deep love for the church.  Not just the church families I've been part of (although they are definitely part of that and I love them dearly!), but the Church as a whole...the Bride of Christ, whom He cherishes. 

My hope and intention as we progress through this series is to share that love with others, and to encourage and challenge each true believer to be a vital part of a living and functional church.  We need to love the church, be encouraged and encourage others in obeying Christ and ensuring that our local bodies are what He wants them to be, and be challenged and challenge others in that pursuit.  

Are you part of a living and functional church body?  I'd love to hear about it in the comments or via the contact widget in the sidebar!  Are you blessed with heart-friends...those iron sharpens iron friends?  Tell me about them! 

Or are you struggling in these areas?  Praying for deep heart friendships, seeking a true Bible-teaching church family?  I'd love to pray for and with you.  Please leave a comment or message me through the contact me form. 

Need some encouragement or perhaps a bit of a challenge in this area?  Sign up for our email list or follow me through any or all of the social media links below so you don't miss any of this series.

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Welcome to Ponderings of an Elect Exile!  Whether you are new here or a faithful friend and regular reader, I'm glad you're here!  If you aren't already following, I'd love to have you join us for the 2014 Ponderings.  It's easy to do, in a variety of ways!  You can follow via  Facebook, Twitter, and/or Pinterest, or  find me on Instagram as Jenbh68. You can also sign up in the sidebar to receive new posts by email. 

 

{Pew Ponderings} Unexpected Friends

There is just a bit of irony in the fact that as I write a blog series on the church, I've missed more church in the last six weeks than I've missed since our three girls had the chicken pox several years ago. (They succumbed consecutively, rather than concurrently, so that we had someone with the pox for seven weeks straight.  Not the best fall ever. ;-))

However, I'm pressing on with the series, and praying that this season, as those crazy weeks of chicken pox, will also pass.  If anything, missing as much as I've had to recently has made me realize even more the importance of the church.  It's hard when we miss! 

(Author's Note: This is another post that has been sitting in draft for a month or so. :) We've actually made it to church as a family for most of the last month. Yay!  Again a bit of irony...I was home again this morning after waking up with a horribly sick headache. I've finally had enough Excedrin that I can do something other than sit with my head in my hands, and I'm looking forward to getting back to church tonight!) 

In Placing Ourselves Deeply, we stopped in the middle of chapter 1 of Anne Ortlund's Love Me With Tough Love.  As I pick up there now, the first thing I see are these underlined words:

We need to learn to love!

Yes! We do!  I do!

I tend to feel as though this is something I'm pretty good at, and then I am hit with reminders of how far, far, far I have to go in this area. 

I can definitely say with Anne, however, "Thank you, Lord! You have made me rich in friends.  They're friends who know me well--my sins and failures, too--and they still love me."

She goes on to pray for her readers to be given the tools to forge this kind of Christian friendships, the kind that make us courageous to live for Him as we could never otherwise do.

Then she talks about Paul, a writer and traveler who "could easily have been a loner".  She points out that in spite of this, Paul "made his way deeply into the lives of many other believers."  He talks about some of them by name in his epistles. 

Paul talks about all kinds of people, and it is obvious that he was deeply involved with them.  He knows their strengths and weaknesses, and he talks about his great love for them. 

Although I know from other writings that Anne and her husband Ray put a priority on family time, they also felt strongly that serving the Lord in front of and alongside their children was a vital part of raising them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.  Anne tells of her encouragement to a young wife who was hesitant about her husband being involved in a certain area of church work.  Anne said, "Let your husband go....let him plunge into all the church life he wants to.  His heart may need it.  Encourage lots of exposure to godly people.  He'll be a far better husband and father as a result!"

(She is careful to say here that she couldn't have said that if their church wasn't "living and functional"-- being in the right church is crucial here. )

The input of our brothers and sisters in Christ should make us better spouses and parents.  It shouldn't take away anything from our families, but should add richly to them.

"The miracle of the church! Who can explain it?  We need all the relationships God will give us.  Each believer represents a different facet of Jesus Christ, and as we are baptized into a life of fellowship in the Spirit, we are plunged into Christ Himself.  Doctrinally, we are baptized into Christ at the moment of our conversion.  Experientially, you might say that we are 'baptized' into Christ as we are daily immersed in our fellow believers."

Years ago, I was exposed to some teaching that I unfortunately didn't check carefully against Scripture.  It was teaching that elevated the family to a place far above the church, and which encouraged a type of isolationism for families within the church.  It discouraged close relationships within the church with those who weren't "like-minded" in even minor areas. 

God has done much in my life to show me how wrong (and even dangerous) that teaching was.  I still believe strongly that parents have ultimate authority and responsibility for their own children.  I still believe strongly that a measure of sheltering, especially in the early years, is important.  I still believe that our very closest relationships should and will of necessity be with people who have very similar standards and beliefs.

However, God has blessed us tremendously with relationships  with those in the church with whom we agree on the "majors" (salvation and major points of doctrine), but from whom we may be worlds apart in other ways.  He has filled the gaps in our ever-shrinking extended family with people who have become very precious to us over the years....people who in earlier years I would kept at a distance. 

What blessings we would have missed if I had! 

He has also blessed us abundantly with people who've become "unexpected friends" in other ways.  People of different generations...older and younger...and people from all different walks of life have entered our lives and hearts in amazing ways. 

What blessings we would have missed without those unexpected friendships! 

How have you seen God work through unexpected friendships within the church?  How have you seen God make you a better spouse or parent through relationships and service within the church? I'd love to hear in the comments! 

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If a post or posts on Ponderings of an Elect Exile has been a blessing to you, would you do me a huge favor?  Please share the link to Ponderings with your friends using the social media share buttons below or the "pin it" button above.  Thank you!  

***
Welcome to Ponderings of an Elect Exile!  Whether you are new here or a faithful friend and regular reader, I'm glad you're here!  If you aren't already following, I'd love to have you join us for the 2014 Ponderings.  It's easy to do, in a variety of ways!  You can follow via  Facebook, Twitter, and/or Pinterest, or  find me on Instagram as Jenbh68. You can also sign up in the sidebar to receive new posts by email. 

In "Other" Words...Loneliness

I can't believe it's been over a week since I've posted! I had plans for a whole week's worth of posts last week, and was especially excited about last week's In "Other" Words quote by C. S. Lewis. Then I got sick. Or maybe make that SICK. Why is it that I either am really motivated to blog and don't have time, or have the time and am too tired/brain fogged/whatever else to blog? I managed to get a (late) book review posted, and apparently used up all available brain cells to do that. ;-) So I have much more to share...hopefully this week I'll have time and brainpower together long enough to whittle down my "to blog" list a bit!

“Rather than turn from loneliness,
what if we turned toward it?
Could it be that loneliness is not a curse
but a gift?
A gift from God?”

~Max Lucado,
Traveling Light: The Promise of Psalm 23

I did somewhat of a double-take on this quote when I first read it. My initial reaction was "Well, that is one thing I have been blessed with during the past few years...it has not been a season of loneliness."

I have had very definite seasons of loneliness in my life, but they have been few and far between. Between being richly blessed with close friends *almost* continually since meeting Susan and Julianne when we were three :), and having grown up in a very close-knit family, loneliness was somewhat brief and episodic in my life. The year we lived in Russellville, when I was in the sixth grade, and I spent the entire year praying to move back to Conway (which we did the following summer :)). My early days in Fort Smith after college, when I missed family, friends, and church immensely. These and other "bursts" of loneliness had definitely shown me that loneliness can be a blessing as well as a curse. That sixth grade year in Russellville especially was a year of tremendous growth for a young adolescent girl experiencing the culture shock of a new church and school.

But one of the things I've been most thankful for during the past few years of turmoil here has been the tiny group of very close friends who have "been there" for us in ways we could never have imagined before. I hear and read about people going through severely hard times with no support system and am constantly reminded how blessed we've been and how grateful I am. I am also reminded of how many people go through difficult days with an unbelieving or unsupportive spouse, or no spouse at all...and I am so thankful for Billy, who has been my rock of strength and my soft cushion of comfort, even as he has been right in the midst of the searing pain himself.

A little deeper thought, however, brought awareness of times of intense loneliness during the past few years...times that have been glaring reminders of the old saying about being lonely in a crowd full of people. I remembered the times I have told my two friends, who have stood on either side of me and almost literally propped me up at times during the past few years, that while I was more thankful than they would ever know for the ways they have been there for me, there are times when I would give almost anything for someone who has actually walked in our shoes. These friends have been amazingly understanding in their sharing of our burdens...but there have still been times I have literally ached for somone who could say, "I've been there. I know what you're going through. I know how you feel." How I would love to be able to "pick someone's brain" and ask "How did you handle this? Did you ever feel like this? Do you have any suggestions for this part?"

There have been other aches of loneliness during these years, too. I grew up with a very close and connected extended family, but my children's experience of extended family is much different than I expected it to be. Some of my biggest struggles with discontent in the past few years have been over this very issue. A friend mentioning a family get-together, photos of long-ago family friends on Facebook with their grandchildren, memories of my childhood holidays...little things that can send me straight into pity party mode if I'm not careful. And then there are those days when I would give anything and everything for an hour with my dad...when my thankfulness that he hasn't been here for the events of the past few years is overcome by longing for just a tiny bit of his encouragement and wisdom.

Loneliness hasn't been as much a stranger as I sometimes think.

And yet, I have definitely seen God working in that loneliness. We have truly learned to turn to Him in ways we otherwise wouldn't have. During times when we have desperately sought wise counsel and come up empty, we have learned first hand the truth of Jesus as the "Wonderful Counselor" spoken of in Isaiah 9:6. During times when I have ached for a hug and wise words from my dad, God has shown Himself faithful as the "Father to the Fatherless" promised in Psalm 68:5. In the times when my heart has broken over the pain my children were going through, when I have felt so woefully inadequate as a parent to deal with that pain, God has reminded me that He watched His innocent Child go through unimaginable pain...and that He went through that pain because of His love for *us*. He has reminded me in those times that He loves my children even more than I ever could...and that He is in control and is working His plan for good in their lives.

I am so very thankful for my husband, my travelling companion on this journey neither of us could ever have foreseen, and which we would never have chosen. I am so thankful for the handful of people who didn't have to walk this road with us, but who have chosen (or been chosen to :)) walk along-side us as burden-sharers. And I am, albeit a bit hesitantly, thankful for the gift of loneliness...one which would never have gone on any wishlist, and yet *is* still, amazingly, a gift.

To see others' thoughts on this week's In "Other" Words quote, visit Patricia at Typing One-Handed. Thanks to Patricia for hosting this week, and to Loni at Writing Canvas for her leadership of In "Other" Words. I'm excited to now be part of the In "Other" Words hostess team, and looking forward to hosting on September 29!